Nurse Jokes! Nurses work hard every day to care for patients, but they also know how to lighten the mood with a little humor. From clever puns to groan-worthy dad jokes, this collection of nurse-themed jokes is perfect for anyone in healthcare or anyone who just appreciates a little hospital humor. With over 100 jokes, you’ll have plenty of material to make your colleagues and even your patients smile.
Whether you’re sharing them in the break room, posting on social media, or just enjoying some lighthearted fun after a long shift, these jokes cover everything from funny one-liners to pun-filled humor. Get ready to test your patients’ patience with these clever quips and discover why laughter really is the best medicine.
Funny Nurse Puns
Medical humor that’s sure to make you smile!
- I’m just here for the IV laughs.
- Nurses: the heart of the hospital.
- Time to give this pun a shot.
- I’m nurse-ing this joke carefully.
- Patiently waiting for laughs.
- You’ve got a fever… for puns!
- Scrub up your humor.
- I can’t resist a good vein of humor.
- This pun is IV-tastic.
- Don’t be heartless—laugh!
- I’m just taking pulse… of the humor.
- Need a shot of laughter?
- You’re on my care radar.
- Nurses always inject humor.
- Don’t ICU without laughing.
- This joke has great circulation.
- Suture self for some fun.
- Nurse humor is the best medicine.
- I’m always patient with jokes.
- Take two laughs and call me in the morning.
- Don’t skip your humor dose.
- Nurses keep humor in their charts.
- I’m in vein for laughs.
- You can’t rush a good pun.
- Humor is a vital sign too.
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Nurse One-Liners
Quick, punchy jokes perfect for sharing at work.
- I told my patient a joke… and they laughed so hard, I almost needed CPR.
- My favorite shift? Laughing rounds.
- Nursing: 50% care, 50% puns.
- I’m just here to give a shot… of laughter.
- Nurses always have patients… and patience.
- Need a joke stat?
- My stethoscope listens for laughs too.
- We triage humor first.
- Laughter: the only thing we give without a co-pay.
- IV lines and punchlines all day.
- Time to scrub in… for jokes!
- Nurses: saving lives and cracking smiles.
- My pager says “laugh now.”
- Heartbeats and giggles are my specialty.
- No prescription needed for this joke.
- We keep humor sterile.
- Bandages aren’t the only thing we wrap… up jokes too!
- CPR? Call Pun-Resuscitation.
- Laughter is contagious—thankfully.
- I chart smiles as well as vitals.
- Time for a humor checkup.
- Nurses know how to deliver… punchlines.
- We take humor seriously.
- Don’t let your spirits flatline.
- Medicine and jokes: best in small doses.
Short Nurse Dad Jokes
Groan-worthy humor perfect for nurses and dad-joke lovers.
- Why did the nurse carry a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood.
- What do you call a nurse with a bad attitude? A sore-tery nurse.
- Why did the doctor break up with the nurse? Too much pressure.
- What do you call a sleep-deprived nurse? Tired but vital.
- Why do nurses always carry a pencil? For patient notes.
- How do nurses party? With IV drinks.
- Why did the nurse sit on the clock? To keep patient time.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite game? Operation.
- Why did the nurse go to art class? To draw blood.
- What do you call a nurse with a sense of humor? Life-saving.
- How do nurses flirt? They give you a shot of charm.
- Why do nurses like computers? Easy charting.
- What did the stethoscope say? “You crack me up.”
- Why did the nurse bring a ladder? To reach new heights in care.
- What do nurses read? The patient charts… and jokes.
- Why was the nurse calm? She had good patients.
- How do nurses stay in shape? Running for the code blue.
- Why did the nurse get promoted? She had a pulse on humor.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite snack? IV-ories.
- Why do nurses love puns? They’re a dose of fun.
- What’s a nurse’s motto? “Stay patient, stay punny.”
- Why was the nurse happy? Another life saved… and a joke shared.
- How do nurses relax? Laugh therapy.
- What do nurses sing at parties? “Stayin’ Alive.”
- Why did the nurse join the comedy club? She had a shot at laughs.
Hilarious Nurse Jokes

Funny scenarios and medical-themed humor.
- Why did the skeleton go to the nurse? To get a little backbone.
- How do nurses stay cool? They keep their patients chilled.
- Why did the thermometer break up with the nurse? She was too hot to handle.
- What do nurses use to fix mistakes? Band-aid humor.
- Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To help patients reach their potential.
- How do nurses take selfies? With perfect IV angles.
- What do you call a nurse on break? Free-range RN.
- Why was the nurse always calm? She had patients.
- How do nurses text each other? With stetho-mojis.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite vegetable? Beets… for vitals.
- Why did the nurse go to music class? To improve her rhythm in care.
- How do nurses start their day? With a dose of humor.
- What do nurses do at parties? Administer laughs.
- Why did the patient bring a ladder? To reach nurse-level jokes.
- How do nurses measure fun? With a sense of humor gauge.
- Why did the nurse take a pen to bed? For night shifts.
- How do nurses celebrate victories? With a high five… and a pun.
- What do nurses call a long shift? Comedy endurance training.
- How do nurses communicate secretly? With IV nods.
- Why did the nurse win the award? Best in care and laughs.
- How do nurses motivate patients? With humor therapy.
- Why did the nurse read a joke book? To stay sharp.
- How do nurses make friends? With a caring punchline.
- Why was the nurse proud? She healed hearts… and funny bones.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite coffee? A double-shot of laughter.
More Funny Nurse Jokes
Extra humor for healthcare heroes and pun enthusiasts.
- Why did the nurse bring a clipboard? To chart laughs.
- How do nurses keep secrets? With patient confidentiality… and jokes.
- Why did the nurse sit on a pencil? To draw attention.
- How do nurses handle stress? With laughter therapy.
- Why did the nurse like puzzles? To keep her mind in shape.
- How do nurses cheer each other up? With IV jokes.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite type of exercise? Heart-raising fun.
- Why did the nurse become a comedian? She had a knack for healing laughter.
- How do nurses like their coffee? With a shot of humor.
- Why did the nurse hug the patient? For emotional support… and comedy.
- How do nurses relax after work? By laughing until the vitals stabilize.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite board game? Operation.
- Why was the nurse always smiling? She had a dose of humor every day.
- How do nurses deal with difficult patients? With patience and jokes.
- Why did the nurse go to art class? To perfect her draw-blood skills.
- What do nurses do on vacation? Take a much-needed “pun leave.”
- Why did the nurse join a band? She had perfect rhythm for laughs.
- How do nurses prank each other? With funny charts.
- What’s a nurse’s favorite day? Any day with smiles.
- How do nurses start meetings? With a laugh.
- Why did the nurse write a joke book? To save lives… with laughter.
- How do nurses celebrate success? By sharing a funny story.
- Why did the nurse sit under the tree? Shade therapy.
- What do nurses do for fun? Test patient humor levels.
- Why are nurses great at jokes? They have a good bedside pun.
Conclusion
From clever one-liners to groan-worthy dad jokes, these nurse puns are sure to bring a smile to anyone in healthcare or anyone who appreciates medical humor. Whether you’re sharing them with colleagues, posting on social media, or lightening the mood during a long shift, this collection has something for every nurse and patient alike. With over 100 jokes, you’ll never run out of ways to test your patients’ patience… and their sense of humor.
So next time you want to inject some fun into the day, keep these jokes handy! Perfect for any occasion, these puns and jokes turn ordinary moments into laughter-filled experiences, proving that humor is truly the best medicine.

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